Realising there’s no perfect start — we really have to “Just Do It”

I think I sound like a broken record, I even sound like a broken record by calling myself that. That’s how often I have repeated wanting to do something, and then just not do it. Then later on, I would repeatedly have self-depreciative, anxious, adrenaline pumping thoughts like its second nature. Maybe it is? I wouldn’t know because I am obviously in my own way to seek professional help (so many excuses).

Anyway, even with the slow moving and procrastination, I feel like I now have new found conviction, I want to do this. At the very least, I’ve been reading more outside the usual stories (one day I will have the courage to dive into my journey with ‘fiction’ and how it inspired me to explore writing but also planted much doubts). Though I wish to thank this one story that stuck to me. The writer narrates, realising that there’s no perfect timing, and trying to achieve it means denying ourselves of the change we want to make.

That was what I was doing, trying to make it perfect and never making the first step, then falling two steps back. I had to stop thinking about ‘what-if’s’, had to stop doubting my abilities, had to just try. I couldn’t continuously say I’m too busy with work so I can’t write in peace, I’m too mentally out of it so I might send myself down a rabbit hole, I’m tired so let’s try tomorrow, or the worst one — nobody wants to read it anyway so why try.

I was the only person stopping myself. Even if it was true that nobody supported me, can they really stop me from putting up a simple essay on the world wide web? Well, yes if that person happens to own the site or something, but that’s beside the point (and really, nobody with that power is out to get me).

Recently, I happened to tune in to a podcast episode by a person I know of from Twitter, she was sharing this similar sentiment. She talked about how she was stopping herself and I realised that was what I was doing to myself.

Of course, it’s easier said than done, this would be another excuse I like giving myself whenever I don’t do anything, but I like to challenge myself to stop thinking and start trying. Stop thinking about the audiences, stop thinking about the worst-case scenario, stop procrastinating.

I’m mentioning many people in this one piece but here’s one more article I read, and decided ‘Yes, it’s time for me to take action’. It’s written by the MD of Vulcan Post, and she detailed her interest in nail art and how she would willingly put energy into it without validation needed. I realised (once again) that I could do that, write for my own enjoyment. Did it once and I could do it again.

So here I am, putting this piece of thought onto paper and, a step away to posting it somewhere. There’s still a lot of fear in me (most of it right now is because I’m on a deadline and time is running fast) but it’s time to start the journey.